


pinkie promise

by Drhair76



Series: to radiate with inexhaustible light [4]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Gilbert Blythe is Whipped, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley in Love, anne definitely has abandonment issues, anne is in Love, diana rlly said -.- at gilbert, listen who cares abt being proper when you're in LOVE, no question, she's also going through it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drhair76/pseuds/Drhair76
Summary: She stays quiet.And it wasn’t a pondering sort of quiet, nor an angry sort. It was the kind of quiet that unsettled others around her- the kind that had even Josie Pye sending her half concerned looks throughout the day. It was the kind that kept Diana holding her hand under the table and the kind that dissuaded even Billy from making any jabs towards her.or, Anne is having a hard day and Gilbert just wants her to feel better
Relationships: Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: to radiate with inexhaustible light [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608112
Comments: 13
Kudos: 243





	pinkie promise

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back and I brought 2k+ words of anne and gilbert with me! Being on state sanctioned quarantine might actually force me to write more so cross your fingers i guess (Also stay safe out there!)

Gilbert knows that Anne doesn’t need him to worry for her. He knows that she is perfectly capable of caring for herself and if he ever forgot she’d be there with a slate and a heavy hand to remind him. He also knew that she had a collection of people around her to care for and worry about her that had more of a right to know about her inner most feelings.  
However, he couldn’t help the pulse of worry when she walked into school with her head down. 

Diana was still dutifully by her side with a tight smile on her face. Gilbert’s brow furrowed when he saw the way their hands were intertwined; tight, like one of them was afraid of letting go. They paused at the coat rack and Diana carefully placed her books down and took up Anne’s other hand, clasping them in between hers. She pulled them to her chest and bent her head close, saying something low and soothing. Anne held still for a moment before nodding gently, her braids bobbing up and down. 

Gilbert wondered what had Anne so shaken, what had Diana so worried and he wanted to hurry over there and demand to know- 

The moment passed as Ruby and Moody swept into the room, talking excitedly about something. Charlie scrambled over to talk to him, and Diana pulled Anne over to their seats so Gilbert allowed himself to believe that Anne would be alright without him prying. 

…

She’s been quiet all day. 

There was no ringing voice or eager grin or flushed cheeks. There were no hands thrown up as high as they could go or playful eyerolls when she wasn’t called on and he managed to get the answer right. There was no one meeting Gilbert toe-for-toe or challenging him head on in academic trivia. 

She stays quiet and her and Diana keep holding hands. As the day goes on there starts to be a pause at every question. A silent _Anne do you want to answer?_ An unspoken, _come on, I know you know this one._ A pleading _tell me I’m wrong carrots- raise your hand and yell out the answer. Look at me, talk to me._

She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t raise her hand. She writes what she’s supposed to, she pays attention when she should, she copies down math equations without a single complaint. 

She stays quiet. 

And it wasn’t a pondering sort of quiet, nor an angry sort. It was the kind of quiet that unsettled others around her- the kind that had even Josie Pye sending her half concerned looks throughout the day. It was the kind that kept Diana holding her hand under the table and the kind that dissuaded even Billy from making any jabs towards her. 

And Gilbert knew that he didn’t have much of a right to ask if Anne was okay and that if Diana was in the know, then it would eventually be alright. But eventually was too long for Gilbert to wait and he argued back to himself that he did have a right to ask.

Permission was granted long ago, with gentle and sincere words such as- _you are my person-_ and a steadily growing ease of a friendship. 

With that constant warmth in his chest at the mere thought of her and the way that she would come to him for help with her hidden secrets Gilbert thinks himself a fool for ever believing that he couldn’t express concern for one of his closest friends.   
…

Diana and Anne sit outside for lunch today. They stay by the stream once they pull their milks away from the water. Diana stays steady as Anne leans against her. It’s as if her strings have been cut or her constant, invisible strength that keeps her upright and moving has dissipated. 

She faces out, away from the school as Diana looks the other way. It’s why Diana saw him coming first. 

She shifts, a knowing look on her face and she gently jostles Anne awake. Gilbert has an urge to tell Diana to leave it, let her sleep, let her rest, even though he came her to talk to her. Anne moves slowly, looks from Diana to Gilbert blearily and it says a lot about her state that she doesn’t rush to shake the sleep from her eyes. 

Diana reaches for Anne’s hand, squeezes it once. “I’ll be right back okay?” 

Anne hums and as Diana gets up and brushes by him, he gets a look. A _be nice or you’ll regret it_ look that Gilbert half balks at- because why on Earth would he ever harm Anne- and half respects- because he knows he’d do the same if their positions were swapped. 

He sits down in Diana's vacated spot and watches as Anne brushes her skirts a little. He bites his lip. Now that he’s here, he can’t find a single word to say. He doesn’t know how to begin with helping her- especially since he doesn’t know what she’s struggling with. 

He takes a good look at her face, her pale skin and slightly bloodshot eyes and finds himself opening his mouth despite himself. 

“Hey, I missed you, carrots.” 

Anne’s eyes- previously fixed on the water- shifted up to him. He almost leaves right then, because why in the world would he start the conversation like that? It’s not about him, it’s about her. He opens his mouth again to apologize when she turns so they are face to face. 

There’s a look on her face, attentive and patient and a little confused with exhaustion hanging around the edges. He can almost hear her now- _I'm listening_. 

He takes a breath, and just talks. No plan. No overthinking. It’s just Anne, he reminds himself, ignoring the small part of him that’s screaming- _well, maybe that’s why you should think about this first._

“I don’t know what is going on- or uh, if anything is going on.” He starts off shakily. “I don’t know if you would want to tell me if there was something going on, but I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you want to tell me and I would never judge you. Ever.” 

Anne shifts again but Gilbert keeps talking because he feels like he’s going a bit crazy, he feels like there’s electricity in his veins and his heart’s going a mile a minute. He needs to get all of this out before she pushes him away- he has to. 

“And- and I know I sound insane, but I really missed you today. I know you were there; I know but- I mean-” He falters a bit; _how much can he reveal? How much is too much? How vulnerable does he want to be?_ He thinks for a tenth of a second and finds that the answer comes up naturally- as vulnerable as he can. He doesn’t care anymore. He cares too much about her to let this secret stay folded up inside of him any longer. “I missed your voice. In class, I didn’t realize how much I like hearing what you have to say and I’m worried that I’m never going to hear it again. I- I'd give anything to keep you arguing with me for the rest of time because I love you.” 

Anne’s eyes go wide. 

“Gil,” She says, her voice hoarse. “You- I-” 

He watches as she briefly closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she reopens them, they’re glassy. Anne grabs his hand and his heart leaps. 

“Last night I couldn’t get to sleep.” She murmurs. Gilbert frowns a little, but she was willing to patiently listen to him so he can do the same for her. “It didn’t matter whether my window was open or closed or how much I read before trying to go to bed- I couldn’t sleep.” 

Gilbert nods, the exhaustion hanging around her eyes and her slow movements and the way Diane offered a ready shoulder for her to sleep on all clicked together in his mind. 

“When I was finally able to drift off, it was fitfully.” Anne admitted quietly. “I had a nightmare.” 

She paused, swallowed, looked down to their hands. 

“What was it about?” Gilbert asked, rubbing his thumb against her hand soothingly. “If you feel comfortable telling.” 

“I was in the barn.” She started. There was an absent smile on her face. “We must have been throwing some sort of party because it was all decorated in a way that I know Jerry would absolutely despise. Everyone I love was there, Marilla, Matthew, Jerry, Diana, Ruby, Cole, Bash, Mary, Del-” She cuts herself off and her eyes slowly rise to meet Gilbert’s.

His mouth is dry. “Me?” He asks lowly. 

She nods.

Her cheeks don’t pinken, her pallor remains pale and that and the feel of Anne’s clammy hands in his are the only things that remind Gilbert to not get too lost in his internal celebration. He wants to jump up and scream, he wants to take Anne dancing through the forest, he wants to kiss every single one of Anne’s freckles until she gets tired of him and begs him to leave her be.   
Instead he squeezes her hands encouragingly. 

“It was really nice.” She continues, her smile dimming a little. “Warm and safe.” 

Gilbert tilts his head a little. Those are interesting words to describe a party but- 

“But then, it gets dark. Everything goes wrong. One by one everyone who showed up, everyone who came to celebrate leaves. And not because they have to go. Because they don’t want to be there, because of me.” And now the tears are threatening to spill over, and Gilbert’s heart is breaking but not as much as Anne’s already has. “And I’m left there, all alone. Little Anne the orphan who no one wants because she talks too much, and she thinks too loud and she always says the wrong thing.” 

A tear slips down Anne’s cheek but she doesn’t seem anguished. She seems- resigned, acquiescent- exhausted. 

“I just want to stop worrying that someone will leave me. I want to be certain, to know without a doubt that someone I love will stay.” She finishes. 

Gilbert, again, doesn’t know what to say right away. He wishes there was a simple phrase that he use to compile all the things he wished to tell her and ask her and reassure her of. 

_How could someone ever leave you? Why would anyone ever want you to stop telling your stories? Why would someone ever try to dim your light? Who left you? They don’t deserve you. They don’t know what they’re missing. I’m glad they didn’t keep you- is that selfish? Am I selfish for loving you? I love you- did you know? I love you; I’d never leave you. I missed your voice for a couple hours today and all rationality flew from my head. How could I ever not want you around? I’ll never leave you. If I say it will you believe me? How can I make you believe me? I need you to know-_

Anne smiled tightly, moving to pull away, taking Gilbert’s silence for- something, Gil didn’t want to imagine what. He pushed his racing thoughts out of his head and did what felt natural. 

He reached over and cupped Anne’s cheek. He brushed away the tear and pushed all his love for her into a smile. Her skin was warm despite her pallor and her breath hitched before she leaned into the touch. They stayed like that for a moment, Anne’s eyes fluttered closed and she relaxed. Gilbert didn’t dare to close his eyes- why would he when he could look at her face?

Eventually he pulled away but didn’t move far. “Hold out your pinkie Anne.” 

Anne frowned but complied. 

He held out his own and took a breath. “Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, I pinkie promise that I will never ever leave you if I can help it. And if I can’t they will have to drag me kicking and screaming.” 

He doesn’t specify who they is- the people of Avonlea, other job prospects, death- it didn’t matter. 

Anne made a sound. A half sob wrapped up in a laugh that was softened and stuffed with love. “Gil, you’re-” He doesn’t get to find out what he is because Anne takes a breath, sets her shoulders and hooks her pinkie around his. “Gilbert Blythe, I pinkie promise that I will never ever leave you if I can help it. And if I can’t then I will take you with me.” 

Gilbert snorts, the image of some nondescript person tugging Anne along and her dragging him with her, filling his head. 

“And there we go.” He nods and Anne smiles shakily. “Now It’s written in the stars.” 

“We’ll never leave one another.” She says cautiously.

“Never.” He nods again. 

Anne sighs heavily, as if a large weight was lifted from her shoulders and she leans forward, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. He moves immediately so she’s comfortable. He wonders if Anne realizes that they practically just exchanged wedding vows with one another. He wonders if she cares. He sure doesn’t. 

“Does this mean you’ll answer questions in class? I think Josie is getting worried.” He says playfully. 

Anne huffs a breath and Gilbert likes the fact that she’s close enough for him to feel it. “Josie is the one who’s worried? Funny, I don’t see her out here with me right now.”   
Gilbert grins. “I don’t think that’s her style. She’s probably watching through the windows.” 

“I hope not. Can’t let her see me leaning on a disgusting boy.” Anne squeezes their hands to let him know she’s just joking. Gilbert already knew- there was no hiding the fondness coating that statement. 

He hums. “So, are you going to give me the details on how the barn was decorated so we can mess with Jerry, or are you going to keep me in suspense?” 

Anne laughs and suddenly she’s off. Stringing words together and weaving sentences and creating pictures in Gilbert’s mind that are so fresh it’s as if he shared the dream with her. Gilbert’s committing it all to memory- Anne's words, Anne’s melodic voice, Anne’s excited eyes. 

There’s no way he’s ever leaving- not if he can help it. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes gilbert, anne does realize that you guys practically exchanged mini marriage vows....and no she doesn't care at all


End file.
